Life skills to practice at home by age
By the IEP Atlas editorial teamLast updated
Short answer
Life skills to practice at home grow with your child: dressing and helping at meals in the early years, chores and money in elementary school, cooking and planning in middle school, and budgeting, appointments and getting around in the teen years. Choose by your child's current skills, not age alone, and practice one small step at a time.
Children learn many everyday skills at home: getting dressed, helping with dinner, putting laundry away, buying something at a store. For children with disabilities, these skills often need to be taught on purpose, in small steps, with lots of practice. Home is the best place for that, because that is where the skills are used.
This page gives ideas by age, shows how a life skill can appear in an IEP, and lists questions to ask the school. The ages are a rough guide. Start where your child is now.
How to choose a skill
Pick a skill that:
- Your child does often, so there are many chances to practice
- Would make daily life easier for your child or your family
- Your child is interested in, or close to doing already
- Matches something the school is working on, if possible
One skill at a time is plenty. A morning routine practiced every day for a month teaches more than ten skills tried once.
Life skills by age: ideas to try
These are ideas, not milestones. Children with and without disabilities learn these at very different times. For young children, the CDC's milestone checklists can help you talk with your doctor about development.[1]
| Age | Self-care | Home | Money and community | Safety |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 to 5 | Wash hands, pull pants up and down, put on a coat | Put toys in a bin, carry a plate to the sink | Hand money to a cashier with help | Hold hands in a parking lot, stop at "wait" |
| 6 to 8 | Brush teeth with a picture chart, dress for the weather | Set the table, feed a pet, sort laundry by color | Name coins, choose between two snacks within a price | Say full name and a parent's phone number |
| 9 to 11 | Shower with a checklist, choose clean clothes | Make a simple snack, load the dishwasher, wipe a table | Pay for a small item, compare two prices | Know what to do if lost, follow the fire plan |
| 12 to 14 | Deodorant, menstrual care or shaving, as needed | Use the microwave, do one load of laundry with help | Plan spending money for an outing, use a debit card with help | Answer the door and phone safely, call 911 in a practice |
| 15 to 18 | Plan hygiene on a schedule, track supplies | Cook a simple meal, keep a weekly chore list | Make a small budget, order food, ride a bus with a peer | Stay home alone for short times, keep personal information private online |
| 18 to 21 | Manage own care routine, ask for help when needed | Plan meals and grocery lists, do laundry alone | Pay a bill, keep a bank balance, book an appointment | Use a phone for help, know what to do in a home emergency |
For more ideas in one area, see cooking activities, chores or laundry. For staying home alone, see home alone safety skills.
How to teach a life skill at home
- Break it into steps. Write or draw each step. Brushing teeth might be 8 steps. Teachers call this a task analysis, and it has research support for autistic learners.[2]
- Show, then help, then step back. Do it together. Then give less help each time, such as pointing instead of doing.
- Practice at the real time. Teach dressing in the morning, not in the afternoon as a game.
- Use pictures or a phone checklist if your child likes them.
- Notice and praise each step done. Small wins keep everyone going.
- Write down progress once a week. "Did 5 of 8 steps alone" helps you see change.
A life skill in an IEP, with notes
Schools can write goals for daily living skills too. The IEP must include measurable goals for the skills your child needs, academic and functional.[3] Below is a short example for a made-up 12-year-old named Mia.
Present levels. "Mia makes a microwave snack with an adult beside her. She does 4 of 9 steps on her own, based on 5 practice days. She reads picture recipes. At home, her parents report she wants to make her own lunch."
Goal. "Using a picture recipe, Mia will make a microwave snack, completing 9 of 9 steps on her own on 4 of 5 practice days."
Home and school link. "The teacher will send home the picture recipe. Mia's parents will practice on 2 weekend days and send a quick note on how many steps she did."
For teens, life skills often also appear in the transition plan. Transition services can include daily living and independent living skills where the team decides they fit.[4] The daily living goals page and the independent living goals page show examples.
Questions to ask the team
- "Which daily living skills is my child working on at school?"
- "Can we pick one skill to practice at home and school the same way?"
- "Can you send home the pictures or steps you use?"
- "How will you measure the skill, and how will I hear about progress?"
- "Is there a life skills goal in the IEP, or should there be?"
- "What skills should we focus on for the next two years?"
- "When does transition planning start for my child?"
- "Can my child practice skills in the community, like shopping, during school?"
What to do next
- Pick one skill from the table that fits your child now.
- Write the steps on a card or in a phone note.
- Practice daily for 2 to 4 weeks, at the time the skill is used.
- Share what you see with your child's teacher, including what helps.
- Bring your ideas to the IEP meeting. Parents know which skills matter most at home.
- Get free help. Every state has at least one Parent Training and Information Center. They help families with IEPs and transition planning at no cost.[5]
For teachers on your child's team, the daily living skills IEP goals and the daily living skills assessment guides go deeper. The life skills IEP goals page lists goals by area.
Frequently asked questions
What life skills should my child know by age 10?
There is no single list, because children learn at different paces. Common skills to work on around this age include showering with a checklist, making a simple snack, wiping a table, paying for a small item and knowing what to do if lost. Start with what your child is close to doing.
How do I teach life skills to a child with autism at home?
Break the skill into small steps, show each step, then give less help over time. Use pictures or a checklist if they help. Practice at the real time of day, and praise each step your child does.
Can life skills be part of my child's IEP?
Yes. IEPs can include functional goals for daily living skills, such as dressing, cooking or using money. For teens, these skills can also be part of the transition plan. Ask the team to share materials so you can practice at home too.
Use it in IEP Atlas
- Functional skills IEP goals
- Daily living goals (functional skills)
- Independent living goals (transition)
- Household skills goals (functional skills)
- Dressing goals (functional skills)
Related guides
- Life skills IEP goals: the complete map by domain
- Teaching cooking in a life skills classroom
- Daily living skills IEP goals
- Daily living skills assessment for IEP teams
- Home alone safety skills
- IEP goals for household chores
Sources
- CDC's Developmental Milestones, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
- Task Analysis (AFIRM Module), AFIRM, Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute, UNC Chapel Hill
- 34 CFR §300.320: Definition of individualized education program, Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School
- 34 CFR §300.43: Transition services, Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School
- Center for Parent Information and Resources, CPIR
Written and checked by the IEP Atlas editorial team under our editorial policy. This guide describes general practice and federal rules. It is not legal advice; your state may add requirements, and the IEP team makes the decisions for each student.