Home alone safety skills
By the IEP Atlas editorial teamLast updated
Short answer
Home alone safety skills are what your child needs to stay safe without an adult for a short time: locking the door, not opening it to strangers, calling you, knowing when to call 911 and leaving if the smoke alarm sounds. Teach them one at a time, practice them for real, and start with very short times alone. The IEP can include goals for these skills.
Being able to stay home alone, even for 20 minutes, can mean a lot to a teenager and to a family. It can mean your child gets home from school while you finish work, or stays home while you run to the store. For many autistic children and teens, it takes more planning and practice. That is fine. These skills can be taught.
This page lists the skills, shows how they can go in an IEP, and gives you steps to practice at home.
Is my child ready?
There is no single right age. Some states have laws or guidelines about when children can be left alone; check your state's rules. Beyond age, think about skills. Your child may be ready to start with a short time alone if they can:
- Follow a routine without reminders for 15 minutes or more
- Tell you, in words, a device or a text, if something is wrong
- Stay calm, or calm down with a plan, when something unexpected happens
- Remember and follow a few clear rules, like "Do not open the door"
- Use a phone to call or text you
If your child cannot do some of these yet, that tells you what to practice first. It does not mean never.
The core home alone skills
| Skill | What it looks like | Practice idea |
|---|---|---|
| Arriving home | Open the door with a key, go in, lock it, text "home" | Walk through it together 5 times, then watch from the car |
| The door | Do not open the door to anyone not on the list | Role-play a delivery person and a neighbor knocking |
| The phone | Answer without saying they are alone, or let it ring | Practice what to say: "My mom can't come to the phone" |
| Calling for help | Call or text a trusted adult when something goes wrong | Practice with a small problem, like a spilled drink |
| Emergencies | Know what is an emergency and call 911 | Sort pictures: emergency or call mom |
| Fire | Leave the house when the smoke alarm sounds and go to the meeting spot | Practice with a test alarm, then do a drill |
| Kitchen | Use only the approved appliances, such as the microwave, and never the stove | Post a picture list of yes and no appliances |
| Feelings | Use a calming plan if worried, and know when to call | Make a card with 3 steps: breathe, do a calm activity, text |
Many families also post a one-page "home alone card" by the door, with the rules, phone numbers and the calming plan.
How the IEP can help
The school can teach and practice these skills too, especially in middle and high school. They can be part of functional goals, and part of transition planning. Transition services can include independent living skills when the team decides they fit.[1] The IEP must list measurable goals for the skills the team chooses.[2]
Teachers often break skills like "arrive home safely" into small steps and teach one step at a time. This method, called task analysis, has research support for autistic learners.[3]
A home safety goal in an IEP, with notes
Below is a short example for a made-up 14-year-old named Sam, who is autistic.
Present levels. "Sam rides the bus home and his father arrives 30 minutes later. Sam opens the door with his key on 3 of 5 practice days. He does not yet lock it behind him or check in. In a role-play, he opened the door to an unfamiliar adult in 4 of 5 trials. He can send a text to his father using a saved message."
Goal 1. "After arriving home, Sam will open the door with his key, lock it behind him and text a trusted adult that he is home, completing 6 of 6 steps on 4 of 5 practice days." Baseline: 2 of 6 steps.
Goal 2. "When someone knocks or rings the doorbell in a role-play, Sam will check who it is without opening the door and follow the family rule in 5 of 6 trials." Baseline: 1 of 6.
Goal 3. "Given 10 problem scenarios, Sam will say whether each is an emergency to call 911 or a problem to text his father, with 9 of 10 correct." Baseline: 5 of 10.
Home-school plan. "The teacher will share the steps and pictures used at school. Sam's father will practice the arrival routine on 3 school days a week and send a quick note to the teacher each Friday."
Questions to ask the team
- "Can we add a goal for staying home alone safely, or for one part of it?"
- "How will you practice these skills at school, since our door is at home?"
- "Will you use the same rules and pictures we use at home?"
- "How will you know my child can do this, and not just say it?"
- "Can the transition plan include home safety and independent living?"
- "Can my child practice using the phone to check in during school trips?"
- "What should we try at home first?"
- "How will we share progress between home and school?"
Steps to practice at home
- Pick one skill. Start with arriving home, or the door rule. Do not teach everything at once.
- Make it visual. Use a picture list or a phone checklist for the steps.
- Practice with you there. Walk through it 5 to 10 times. Praise each step done right.
- Practice with you nearby. Wait in the car or next door. Ask your child to text you when done.
- Start very short. Try 5 to 10 minutes alone, then 15, then 30, with a check-in text each time.
- Talk about what happened. After each try, ask what went well and what was hard.
- Review the rules every few months, and after any change, like a new phone or a new neighbor.
For other safety skills, see home safety IEP goals and stranger safety IEP goals. The community safety goals page and the safety signs goal hub list goals schools use.
Get free help
Every state has at least one Parent Training and Information Center. They help families with IEPs, including transition planning, at no cost.[4] The CDC has plain-language information about autism across ages.[5] Your local fire department may also offer a home fire safety visit for families.
Frequently asked questions
At what age can an autistic child stay home alone?
There is no single age. Some states have laws or guidelines about leaving children alone, so check your state's rules. Beyond that, look at skills: following a routine, using the phone, following the door rule and knowing when to call for help.
Can home alone skills be an IEP goal?
Yes. Skills like locking the door, checking in by phone, handling a knock at the door and knowing when to call 911 can be written as functional goals. For teens, they can also be part of the transition plan for independent living.
How do I start teaching my child to stay home alone?
Pick one skill, like arriving home and locking the door. Practice it with you there, then with you nearby, then for very short times alone with a check-in text. Add time slowly and talk about how each try went.
What should my child do if someone knocks on the door?
Most families teach a simple rule: do not open the door when home alone, unless it is someone on an agreed list. Practice it with role-plays, including delivery people and neighbors, so your child knows what to do and say.
Use it in IEP Atlas
- Community safety goals (functional skills)
- Safety signs goal hub
- IEP goals for autism
- Autism in the IEP glossary
- Independent living goals (transition)
Related guides
- Life skills IEP goals: the complete map by domain
- IEP goals for calling 911 and emergency skills
- IEP goals for stranger safety
- Home safety IEP goals: fire, electrical, poisons, sharp objects
- Potty training a child with autism: what belongs in the IEP
- Life skills to practice at home by age
Sources
- 34 CFR §300.43: Transition services, Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School
- 34 CFR §300.320: Definition of individualized education program, Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School
- Task Analysis (AFIRM Module), AFIRM, Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute, UNC Chapel Hill
- Center for Parent Information and Resources, CPIR
- About Autism Spectrum Disorder, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Written and checked by the IEP Atlas editorial team under our editorial policy. This guide describes general practice and federal rules. It is not legal advice; your state may add requirements, and the IEP team makes the decisions for each student.