Teaching perspective taking

By the IEP Atlas editorial teamLast updated November 1, 2026

Short answer

Good perspective taking activities teach a student that other people know, want and feel different things, and how to figure out what. Start with concrete games about what someone saw or likes, move to reading clues in stories and real situations, then practice seeing both sides of a disagreement and asking instead of guessing.

Perspective taking is figuring out what another person knows, wants, thinks or feels, and using that to decide what to say or do. It underlies conversation, friendship, reading comprehension and conflict resolution. It is also a two-way street. When two people misunderstand each other, both are missing the other's view.

This guide gives a teaching sequence with activities for each step, a worked example and the mistakes to avoid. Goal wording for the skills is in IEP goals for identifying emotions and on the social awareness goals page. The social-emotional IEP goals pillar covers the whole area.

Perspective taking goes both ways

Many students who receive perspective taking instruction are autistic or have other social communication differences. They are often described as lacking perspective taking, as if the gap were theirs alone. In practice, misunderstandings usually run both ways. Peers and adults often misread the student just as much: a flat tone read as rudeness, info-dumping read as not caring, looking away read as not listening.

That shapes how to teach:

Teach the student's perspective to others, too. Help peers and staff learn how the student shows interest, what their signals mean and what helps communication.
Aim for understanding, not imitation. The goal is for the student to understand others' views and choose what to do. It is not to act like everyone else, hide their interests or suppress stimming.
Teach checking. "Are you asking me or telling me?" or "Did that bother you?" is a fair skill for everyone. Guessing silently is how misunderstandings grow.

Social communication is the SLP's territory, and these goals often sit with the SLP, with the school psychologist or counselor supporting.^[1] CASEL lists perspective taking under social awareness.^[2]

What you need before you start

A probe set. 8 to 10 short scenarios, stories or video clips at the student's level, for a baseline and repeat checks.
Real situations from the student's week. Two or three moments where a misunderstanding happened, with the student's permission to talk about them.
Materials by age. Picture books, short clips without sound, comic strips with blank thought bubbles, hide-and-find games, role cards.
The student's interests. Scenarios about Minecraft, trains or K-pop hold attention far better than generic ones.

Step-by-step

Step 1: Others like and want different things

Start concrete. Show the student that preferences differ, using people they know.

Activity: gift shop. Lay out 6 picture cards, such as a soccer ball, a book, slime and a paint set. Name 3 people the student knows. The student picks a gift for each, then explains: "Grandma likes painting, so the paint set." Then reverse it: the student says what they would want, and a partner guesses.

Step 2: Others know different things

What a person saw decides what they know. This is the base for later steps, and a step many teams skip.

Activity: the moved toy. With two puppets or two people, hide a toy in a box. One leaves. The other moves the toy to a bag. Ask: "Where will she look first? Why?" Then let the student be the one who moves it. Comic strips with an empty thought bubble work for older students: "What does he think is in the bag?"

Step 3: Read clues to what someone thinks or feels

Now use clues: the situation, words, tone and body. Faces are one clue, not the only one.

Activity: freeze frame. Play a 20-second clip of a TV scene with the sound off. Pause. The student names what a character probably feels or wants and the clue: "She's looking at the clock and packing her bag. She wants to leave." Turn the sound on to check.

Activity: what's really meant. Read short lines with context, such as "Oh great, it's raining" said before a picnic. The student says what the speaker means and how they know.

Step 4: See both sides of a disagreement

Disagreements are where perspective taking matters most. Use stories first, then real but low-stakes events.

Activity: two chairs. Describe a conflict, such as two students who both want the computer. The student sits in one chair and tells it from one side, then moves and tells it from the other. Then they suggest a fix that works for both. For real conflicts, use the student's own event once everyone is calm.

Step 5: Ask instead of guess

Teach a few checking questions and when to use them: "Are you joking?", "Do you want to keep talking about this?", "Did I upset you?". Practice in role-play, then name the situations where the student will try them.

Activity: guess and check. Partner A makes a face or says a line. Partner B guesses the meaning, then asks. Score points for asking, not for guessing right.

Step 6: Use it in real moments

Move the skill into the day. Before a group project, ask: "What might your partner want to do first?" After a conversation, ask: "What did Jayden seem interested in?" Keep debriefs to 2 minutes, and include what the other person could have understood better too.

Activities by age

Age	Activities	Materials
Preschool and K	Gift shop with family members, hide-and-find with puppets, "what does teddy want?"	Toys, puppets, picture cards
Grades 1 to 3	Moved-toy stories, character feelings in picture books, guess-and-check	Picture books, comic strips
Grades 4 to 5	Freeze frame clips, two chairs, retelling a story from another character's view	Short videos, chapter books
Middle school	Text message tone, sarcasm lines, both sides of real conflicts	Sample texts, role cards
High school	Customer and coworker views, debates from an assigned side, reading hints	Work scenarios, current events

Worked example from start to finish

Malik is a fictional fifth grader. Peers say he "doesn't listen", and he often keeps talking about trains when classmates have changed the subject. He says peers "just walk off for no reason." The SLP starts with an 8-item probe of short video scenarios. Malik explains what a person wants or thinks, with a clue, on 2 of 8. In 4 observed lunch conversations, he checks a listener's interest 0 times.

The SLP meets him twice a week for 20 minutes for 10 weeks, following steps 1 to 6, with train scenarios mixed in. She also meets his lunch group once: they learn that Malik shares facts as a way of connecting, and that saying "Can we switch topics?" works better with him than walking away.

Week	Probe score (of 8)	Checks of listener interest at lunch (of 4 conversations)
Baseline	2	0
4	4	1
7	6	2
10	7	3

By week 10 Malik scored 7 of 8 on the probe and asked a checking question, such as "Want to hear more or switch?", in 3 of 4 lunch conversations. Peers now tell him directly when they want to change topics. His IEP goal is written from this data: during lunch conversations, Malik will check his partner's interest with a question at least once per conversation in 4 of 5 observed conversations. The numbers are illustrations, not norms.

Common mistakes

Weak: Teaching that the student's way of communicating is wrong. Better: Teach that people communicate differently, and give both the student and peers tools to understand each other.

Weak: Jumping straight to sarcasm and hidden meaning. Better: Build up from preferences and knowledge, then clues, then complex language.

Weak: Scoring only whether the student names the "right" feeling. Better: Score the answer and the clue, so you see the reasoning.

Weak: Practicing only with worksheets. Better: Use worksheets for the probe, then real situations from the student's day.

Weak: "Think about how others feel" said after every conflict. Better: A short, calm debrief with one question about each person's view.

Weak: Requiring eye contact as proof of understanding. Better: Measure what the student says or does with what they understood.

Templates and tools

These templates match the steps above:

Choosing what a peer likes: template.
Explaining what someone who missed an event thinks: template.
Explaining a story character's point of view: template.
Asking before guessing what a peer wants: template.
Naming two points of view in a disagreement: template.
Retelling an event from another person's view: template.
Restating a peer's point of view during a disagreement: template.

Record probe scores on the accuracy data sheet and real-setting checks on the opportunity data sheet. The social emotional goal area lists every related skill. Related guides: social skills IEP goals for autistic students, pragmatic language goals for high school and teaching self-advocacy skills by age. Check drafted goals with the goal checker.

Frequently asked questions

What are good perspective taking activities for kids?

Start concrete: choosing gifts for people with different likes, and hide-and-find games about what someone saw. Then move to reading clues in short video clips, telling a disagreement from both sides, and practicing checking questions such as "Are you joking?".

How do you measure perspective taking for an IEP?

Use a short probe of 8 to 10 scenarios scored for the answer and the clue, and count real-setting behaviors such as asking a checking question during conversations. Report both, since probe gains do not always carry into real moments.

Is perspective taking instruction a form of masking?

It should not be. Teach understanding of others' views and give the student choices, without asking them to hide their interests, change how they move or copy peers. Teach peers about the student's perspective too, since misunderstandings go both ways.

Use it in IEP Atlas

Sources

Social Communication Disorder, ASHA
CASEL: Social and emotional learning, CASEL

Written and checked by the IEP Atlas editorial team under our editorial policy. This guide describes general practice and federal rules. It is not legal advice; your state may add requirements, and the IEP team makes the decisions for each student.