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Relationships, Boundaries & Personal Safety IEP goals

This skill covers how students sort relationships, keep and respect boundaries, and stay safe: public and private behaviors and places, asking before touching, relationship circles, saying no and telling a trusted adult, and healthy and unhealthy relationships in person and online. Good goals name the situation, what the student will say or do, and who the trusted adults are, using age-matched examples. Measure real or role-played situations with opportunities, sorting and identifying with accuracy, and routines such as reporting with a task analysis.

30 templates · How we write and review goals

Sample relationships, boundaries & personal safety goals

Numbers are illustrative; set targets from the student's own baseline (how templates are made).

  • 3-5, 6-8Percent accuracy

    Sort public and private places

    Public and private places

    By the annual IEP review date, given 12 photos of everyday places at school, home, and in the community, and a two-column board labeled public and private, the student will sort each place as public or private and say one reason independently with at least 90% accuracy on place photos, in 3 of 4 consecutive weekly probes, as measured by opportunity-by-opportunity data collected weekly.

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  • 3-5, 6-8Percent accuracy

    Tell a safe secret from an unsafe secret

    Safe and unsafe secrets

    By the annual IEP review date, given 10 short scenarios read aloud about secrets and surprises (such as a birthday surprise, or an older student saying not to tell an adult about a touch), the student will say whether each secret is safe to keep or should be told to a trusted adult, and give a reason independently with 100% accuracy on secret and surprise scenarios, in 3 of 4 consecutive weekly probes, as measured by opportunity-by-opportunity data collected weekly.

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  • 3-5, 6-8Opportunities

    Ask before hugging or touching a peer

    Asking before touching

    By the annual IEP review date, during greetings, recess, and group work, when the student wants to hug, hold hands with, or touch a peer, the student will ask the peer first (such as "Can I hug you?") or offer a choice (hug, high five, wave) and do what the peer picks independently in at least 8 of 10 opportunities, on 4 of 5 observed days, as measured by direct observation collected 3 times per week.

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  • 3-5, 6-8Percent accuracy

    Name safe and unsafe touch in scenarios

    Safe and unsafe touch

    By the annual IEP review date, given 10 short scenario cards read aloud, using the body safety words the family and school agreed on, the student will say whether the touch in each scenario is safe, unsafe, or unwanted, and what to do if it is unsafe or unwanted independently with 100% accuracy on touch scenarios, in 3 of 4 consecutive weekly probes, as measured by opportunity-by-opportunity data collected weekly.

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  • 3-5, 6-8, 9-12Task-analysis steps

    Practice no, go, tell in role-play

    No, go, tell

    By the annual IEP review date, during a role-play with the counselor using a scripted scenario of an unwanted touch or request, with the student's named trusted adults listed, the student will carry out each step of the no, go, tell routine in the role-play, performing all 5 steps independently, across 3 consecutive sessions, as measured by a task-analysis checklist collected weekly.

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  • 6-8, 3-5Percent accuracy

    Sort people into relationship circles

    Relationship circles

    By the annual IEP review date, given photos or name cards of 12 people in the student's life and community, and a relationship circles chart, the student will place each person in the right circle and say how they know the person independently with at least 85% accuracy on people placed in circles, in 3 of 4 consecutive weekly probes, as measured by work-sample analysis collected weekly.

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  • 6-8, 9-12Opportunities

    Match greetings to the relationship

    Greetings that fit the relationship

    By the annual IEP review date, during arrival, hallways, and community outings, when the student greets someone, the student will greet the person in a way that fits their relationship circle, chosen from the student's greeting options independently in at least 8 of 10 opportunities, on 4 of 5 observed days, as measured by direct observation collected 3 times per week.

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  • 6-8, 3-5, 9-12Opportunities

    Stop when a peer says no or stop

    Respecting another person's no

    By the annual IEP review date, during recess, lunch, group work, or games, when a peer says no or stop, signals stop, or moves away, the student will stop the action within about 3 seconds of the peer's no or stop and give the peer space or ask what they want instead independently in at least 9 of 10 opportunities, on 4 of 5 observed days, as measured by direct observation collected 3 times per week.

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  • 6-8, 9-12Percent accuracy

    Decide what personal information is safe online

    Sharing personal information online

    By the annual IEP review date, given 12 sample messages, profiles, or game chats asking for different kinds of information, from known friends and from people met only online, the student will say whether the information is safe to share with that person and give a reason independently with 100% accuracy on online information requests, in 3 of 4 consecutive weekly probes, as measured by opportunity-by-opportunity data collected weekly.

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  • 6-8, 9-12Task-analysis steps

    Block and report an unwanted online contact

    Blocking and reporting online contacts

    By the annual IEP review date, during a practice session on a demo account or screenshots of the student's platform, using a scripted unwanted message, the student will carry out each step of the block and report routine on the platform, performing all 6 steps independently, across 3 consecutive sessions, as measured by a task-analysis checklist collected weekly.

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  • 6-8, 9-12Opportunities

    Ask before taking or posting a photo

    Consent for photos

    By the annual IEP review date, during class activities, clubs, field trips, or lunch where phones or school tablets are allowed, when the student wants to photograph a peer, the student will ask the person before taking a photo and ask again before posting or sending it, and follow the answer independently in at least 5 of 6 opportunities, on 3 of 4 observed weeks, as measured by direct observation collected weekly.

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  • 6-8, 3-5Opportunities

    Ask before borrowing a classmate's things

    Consent for borrowing

    By the annual IEP review date, during class, lunch, or group work, when the student wants to use something that belongs to a peer, the student will ask the owner before using or taking the item and follow the answer independently in at least 7 of 8 opportunities, on 4 of 5 observed days, as measured by direct observation collected 3 times per week.

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18 more relationships, boundaries & personal safety templates

Each opens in the builder with its sample goal, notes, objectives, and data sheet.

What relationships, boundaries & personal safety involves

  • Sorting public and private behaviors and places
  • Keeping personal space and asking before touching, hugging, or borrowing
  • Using relationship circles to match greetings and sharing to family, friends, helpers, and strangers
  • Saying no and telling a trusted adult about unwanted touch or requests
  • Deciding what personal information is safe to share online
  • Naming signs of healthy and unhealthy friendships and, for older students, dating relationships

Baseline and measurement considerations

  • Take a baseline with age-matched scenarios or photo sorts (public or private, safe or unsafe to share), scored as correct out of items presented.
  • For asking before touching or borrowing, count natural opportunities in the classroom, at lunch, or at a job site, and record whether the student asked.
  • Score role-plays of saying no and telling a trusted adult as a task analysis: say no, move away, find the named adult, tell what happened.
  • Never set up a real unsafe situation to test the skill; use role-play and scenarios with a counselor or teacher the student trusts.
  • Share the trusted adult list and the words being taught with the family so the student hears the same message at home.

Progress-monitoring methods used in these templates

  • Opportunity (trial) recording: Each planned or naturally occurring opportunity is recorded as correct/independent, prompted, or not demonstrated.
  • Direct observation: An adult observes and records the defined behavior during a specified activity.
  • Task-analysis checklist: A routine is broken into ordered steps; each step is recorded as independent, supported, or not completed.
  • Work-sample analysis: Scoring completed student work (permanent products) against a defined answer key or checklist.

How each measure works

Matching data sheets

Each template links to a blank sheet built for its measure. You can also download these sheets on their own:

  • Accuracy tracker: Number correct out of number attempted, with percent accuracy and support level.
  • Opportunity tracker: Records each opportunity as independent, prompted, or not demonstrated.
  • Task-analysis checklist: Marks each step of a routine as independent, with support, or not completed across sessions.

Common mistakes when writing relationships, boundaries & personal safety goals

  • Writing "will have appropriate boundaries" without naming the situation or the action.
  • Teaching compliance with all adults, which works against the student's right to say no.
  • Using child-level materials with teens and young adults instead of age-matched scenarios about friends, coworkers, and dating.
  • Treating a reporting goal as the school's response plan; any report of abuse follows the school's mandated reporting procedures, not the IEP.
  • Never practicing outside the therapy room, so the skill does not show up at lunch, on the bus, or online.

Frequently asked questions

How do I write an IEP goal for personal boundaries?

Pick one boundary skill and one setting, such as asking before hugging peers at school, and count opportunities. For example: in natural greetings with peers, the student will ask before hugging or choose a wave or high five in 8 of 10 opportunities. Teach the choices before you measure.

What is a good body safety goal for middle school?

A goal on saying no and telling a trusted adult, practiced in role-plays and scored step by step, fits well. Name two or three trusted adults in the goal so the student knows exactly who to tell. Public and private sorting and online sharing rules also fit this age.

Can IEP goals cover dating and relationships for high school students?

Yes, when the team sees a need. Goals can cover signs of a healthy relationship, consent in everyday situations, and what to do if someone pressures you. Use age-matched materials and involve the family, who know the student's culture and values.

How often should I collect data on relationships and boundaries goals?

Weekly role-play or scenario probes are usually enough. Natural opportunities like greetings and borrowing can be tallied a few times a week by any adult who works with the student.

References

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